Do you
take this player
for hit less
or home run
running error
or safe slide
til nine innings
(and even extra innings)
do you part?
I do
Excuse me?
Oh sorry… Play ball!
That’s better…
And
now,
do you
promise
to support
cheer, not razz,
nor
give up on,
encourage and teach
this player
through the minors and
should he
or she
make it
to the majors
til trade do you part?
Trade?
Yeah, ok never mind…. until
forever
and
ever
and ever?
I do!
Excuse me?
Darn, I mean, Play ball!
And
do you
promise
to keep the signals
to yourself,
to sacrifice
even if
you would prefer
to swing away,
to pitch relief
in a tight spot
and give it all
you got
every time
absolutely every time
you get
the chance?
I do!
Excuse me?
Oh, I mean… Play ball!
Ok
(quick conference on the mound)
Finally, then,
do you agree
to throw
with precision
and skill
to move
the ball around
and baffle
the other team
to such an
extent
you win
no less
no less
than
ten in
a row?
Play ball!
Thus, in the power
vested in me
by all that
is the national past time
I now pronounce you
(drum roll please)
BALL AND BAT!!!!!!
You may kiss the bride…
